November 23

Emotion and Sex Work

Whose Orgasm is this Anyway? Sex Work in Long term Heterosexual Couple Relationships
Jean Duncombe and Dennis Marsden

This article defines the term sex work as a word that has been used to refer to prostitution- contrasting paid with consensual relationships- feminists also assert marital sex is essentially a form of alienated work- sex work. Duncombe and Marsden attempt to show throughout this article how sex work is carried into the home and into long term heterosexual relationships. Within long term relationships, this article explains that women have expressed dissatisfaction in their intimate relationships, due to the lack of emotion present within sex and within the relationship itself, thus also causing women and men of long term relationships to force themselves to appear as the perfect couple that they are not. However, this image of the perfect couple has been destructing to the way that the media portrays the way in which sex within relationships occur. Gidden describes this “plastic” sexuality that makes it seem as if gender is an innocent factor within sex work, and feelings arising from both partners are spontaneous and not resulting from any work. However, traditionally, sex has made the dominant figure to be played by the male, in which the male doesn’t pay any attention to his partner’s sexual needs, and women have become dependent on satisfying themselves. Self satisfaction is encouraged by the feminists, who say that women need to take the initiative to become sexual subjects, thus making a man’s presence for satisfaction unnecessary. The only way as Hamblin describes that both women and men can benefit from sex, is a concept sexual empathy that requires a woman to be in a relationship with a non- traditional male that doesn’t feel the need to be in power of the relationship.

What I felt that was most disappointing, was that sexual activity experienced a decline within marriage because of stresses from family and from work. Many of those in long term relationships experience deja’vu and flashbacks of their romantic lives before marriage. The decline of passion due to the lack of energy that each individual has within a marriage has caused them to lose that initial feeling and emotion that they experienced with each other when they first met. I found this pretty discouraging and hopeless in a sense, especially as a woman, when many women confessed to never really feeling satisfied within their relationships because so many of them felt shame in admitting or in expressing to their partners that they were not happy with the sexual, passionate aspect of their marriage life. This article also explained how men and women had turned to other forms of sexual satisfaction such as pornography and masturbation, because they could not feel that satisfaction with their own life partners, and with respects to them did not ant to engage in an affair. This also really made me sad, because just the thought that your life partner isn’t providing enough love or enough desire for you anymore is really scary. Just when you thought that you had found the one, you find out that this person isn’t really the person who can provide complete and total joy in your life.





Stepford Wives and Hollow Men
Jean Duncombe and Dennis Marsden

Duncombe and Marsden attempt to explain in this article how emotion work within a relationship has become more about the woman fulfilling the man’s emotional needs thus demonstrating women’s “false consciousness” under male domination and power. A few examples that this article provides as women participating in emotion work are, women trying to make men talk openly about their feelings and confront their problems not only to provide a peace of mind for men, but also to disclose the sense of intimacy that they value within a relationship, women also work more at keeping the relationship together by planning certain things to do, hearing how he feels, and giving men hugs and kisses after something nice happens. Women also repress their sexual tensions, and are said to fake orgasms for their husbands. Women are said to be more worried about satisfying their husbands and making them feel good, thus embodying the image of a stepford wife. This article also argues that men do actually participate in emotion work, but differently from a woman. Men believe that they perform emotion work through being the breadwinner and relieving women of their work related stresses. Emotion work for men is being that financial support for their woman, and coping with all the stresses resulting from being that financial provider. Men also feel that they do participate in emotion work in their sexual lives, as they describe times in which they have had to fake orgasms in order to conform to the ideology of masculinity. However through theses examples, one can see that men’s idea of emotion work is purely personal and selfish, as they suppress their emotions, and resist becoming emotionally involved with their partners. Men have this ability to put up walls and become emotionally remote within their emotional relationships, thus embodying the image as the hollow man.

The loss of authenticity is described in this article as dangerous, as both men and women due to the gaps between real feelings and ideological feelings on how to behave, begin to lose themselves within their personal relationships. Women’s psychological developments in a male-dominated society from theories of fraud are used to help explain why women are greater participants in emotion work than men are. Women are socialized to be attuned to recognize the emotions and needs of others, thus giving more of themselves to others than to themselves personally. Because women are always acting on the behalf of others and not from their true selves they are in turn becoming inauthentic. In contrast, males are encouraged to fulfill the values of masculinity, such as independence and maturity, by always doing and making serving others as secondary. In men’s efforts to suppress their emotional more feminine side, they too are becoming inauthentic in nature. This authenticity is carried throughout marriage in which wives live a “family myth” and succumb to their husbands tasks and obligations, by continuing to take part in a great deal of emotion work in order to convince themselves and others that they have a good relationship. I think that it is important for both people to be invested in revealing themselves emotionally, so as to remain true to their identity. However I can see how emotion work is in fact unequal within the home, causing one person, usually the woman to lose a sense of herself in order to cater to her husband and his needs.


Sex Work for the Middle Class
Elizabeth Bernstein

Bernstein asks the questions, why are middle class women doing sex work, and can sex work be a middle class profession? What can be seen throughout this article is that many of times job opportunities are limited to women, even middle class white women with a college education. Jobs that may seem more socially acceptable do not always offer the most pay, in contrast to participating in sex work that leaves them with a more reliable source of income. Sex work has also become more popular due to the convenience of the internet. The internet has enabled sexual commerce to thrive by increasing the accessibility to information and creating camaraderie amongst those other workers who participate in sex work activities. The internet has also made it easier to advertise services and personalizing one’s own space.

I found it surprising yet and quite discouraging that even women who are well educated and come from a pretty stable home, resort to a career in sex work after thousands of dollars and time are spent on school.


What’s Wrong With Prostitution? What’s Right with Sex Work? Comparing Markets in Female Sexual Labor
Elizabeth Bernstein

This article attempts to explain to readers what prostitution really is as it is commonly misunderstood in today’s society. Bernstein attempts to show us different perspectives on prostitution from a radical feminist who critiques prostitution, pro- sex feminist defenses of prostitution and contextualized feminist approaches to various aspects of the sex work industry. The feminist perspective of prostitution says that prostitution is just another way in which men can objectify women. Prostitution is an abuse of women and of sex, that motivates gender inequality. The availability of sexual services is a part of what makes a man a man, and is what this world has been built off of. The pro- sex feminists say that prostitution allows the woman to be in control in the amount of money they demand and the type of services that they provide. It allows the woman to be emancipated, free and better paid than they would be in any other job.

Then Bernstein describes the several types of prostitutes that there can be. There are those who are drug addicts, those who are college educated, and even men who sell sex to other men. There are a variety of reasons in which people become prostitutes, in which as a society we have to understand. Bernstein also goes into how prostitutes are different and are paid different according to class. They can be distinguished by their different clothes, their ages and their race. There are some who make a significant amount more money than others a night due to the type of clients that they deal with.

The economic and sexual liberty that is experienced is something that prostitution offers. There are some women who have been in sexual, or physical abused in previous relationships, and as a prostitute, this is the first time in which they have actually consented sex. In my opinion I feel that prostitution should be legalized. People should be in control of their own bodies, as long as they are not doing any harm to any other person. The term prostitution is too small to categorize the many different types of prostitution and the many different effects that prostitution can have on the individual and on society.

Paid Carework

Parental Leave and Child Care
Deanne Bonnar

This reading focuses on the inequalities present in care work. Much care work as suggested by Bonnar is conducted by the female. This article also suggests that care giving is not considered work, yet it is a duty expected to be fulfilled by the woman of the household. Women’s labor outside of the home has received little acknowledgment and though they are participating in double the work, housework is continued to be recognized only as a biological right. Bonnar discusses that housework also contains the aspect of care giving and human care. Human care as explained by Bonnar is the aspect of nurturing, and emphasizing the difference between caring for things and people. Women are responsible for not only taking care of regular household chores but also most importantly women are responsible for taking care of their children. This becomes a problem when women participate in both household work and outside market work.
Thus women discover the conflict of scheduling, leave benefits thus limiting them in jobs that are poorly paid. Bonnar also suggests solutions to these problems, especially the most significant of them all, unpaid care work. Because housework has not been defined as work, one interesting suggestion made by Bonnar would be considering to provide wages for domestic work. Another solution that I more agree with than paying for domestic work and care giving, is modifying the time variable that will allow for more personal time with the child and with the family.

The Color of Family Ties
Race, Class, Gender, and Extended Family
Naomi Gerstel and Natalia Sarkisian

Throughout this article, “The Color of Family Ties” Gerstel and Sarkisian attempt to explain to readers the extended family relationships that exists amongst different racial and class groups. In attempting to understand these relationship differences, Gerstel and Sarkisian first note that amongst different families of different races, blacks and latino/a families are more likely to have closer relationships with extended family than that of white families. The reason why blacks and latino/a families are closer with their extended family is because they are more dependent upon the financial support of their extended family. Because it is “widely known” that whites make a higher income than minority groups, white families tend to be more financially stable within their own direct families, that they are not dependent upon the support of others. Further throughout the article, Gerstel and Sarkisian actually prove that familial interactions within the direct family and also within extended family is more related to class than to cultural differences. Although there are obvious cultural differences within different races, “White, Black, and Latino/a individuals with the same amount of income and education have similar patterns of involvement with their extended families (4).” I don’t know if I necessarily agree with this statement, because throughout my experiences both coming from a middle class minority background and having friends whose families are also middle class however they are white, I find that minority groups and families are more likely to be dependent upon extended family not only because of financial support, but also emotional support, as that extended family of a minority group looks for people who can relate to their other obstacles that they have to face as a minority. I feel that it is almost more necessary and important for minority families to have a closer relationship with their extended family because they are most likely the only other group in which they can share similar experiences and social issues with. I do however agree that within married relationships, there is a certain disconnect that people experience with their extended family because now it is not only important to maintain a relationship with one’s direct relationship with their extended family, but also maintain and build a relationship with their spouse’s extended family.



Using Kin for Child Care: Embedment in the Socioeconomic Networks of Extended Families
Lynet Uttal

This article attempts to explain why African American and Mexican American mothers who are employed are more likely than Anglo American mothers to use childcare arrangements with relatives. There are three different explanations to explain why Black and Hispanic families depend more on the support of their extended kin for childcare, “the cultural explanation that states that these practices are the product of differing cultural preferences, the structural explanation that conceives of them as adaptive responses to structural constraints ( such as limited economic resources) and the integrative explanation that argues that they are due to the intersection of culturally-specific values and practices (race and culture), structural constraints (race and class), and the social organization of gender (care-giving is provided mainly by female relatives). Throughout the article, Lynet Uttal includes some of the conclusions that she gathers from her interviews. I thought that it was really interesting that White mothers were so reluctant to have their own mothers look after their children because they thought of it as an imposition upon their lives, and many did not agree with the way in which they treated childcare and Black and Latino/a families thought that although it was not ideal for their mothers to look after their children, it was an acceptable form of childcare that was treated as something that was supposed to happen. Minority women are also more likely to use extended kin to help take care of their children because it is more financially reasonable and supportive, it serves as an acceptable temporary substitute for a mother, and also it helps encourage and continue cultural practices that have shaped much of their lives as adults. I feel that not only would it be insulting to my mother who has raised me to not have time to help me raise my children, but also it would put a particular strain on their relationship as grandmother and grandchild. I think that by having extended family help raise another’s child is important to help maintain the cultural values that embodied and structured much of the way in which I view the world, and are the basis of the values that embody my life today.

The Female World of Cards and Holidays: Women, Families, and the Work of Kinship
Micaela di Leonardo

Women’s work in the family and in society has experienced significant changes in which di Leonardo wishes to examine. Micaela di Leonardo notes the change in women’s role in the household, as they have become more necessary to maintain relationships with the extended family. Tasks revolving around keeping in touch with extended family and organizing holiday celebrations are dependent upon the woman in the household. Women have now taken over another aspect of work, this is called kin work. Similarly to housework and child care, men are not active participants. Throughout my personal experiences, I feel that women are more family oriented than men are. As stated by the author, kin work is also solely based on gender, it is not influenced by race or social class, which allows sociologists to study all different groups of women. In my personal experiences, the women in my family are more family oriented than the men in my family in terms of planning and organizing family events. However the men in my family are very involved and are active participants in daily family activities. I don’t think that this is necessarily because the men in my family are more lazy than the women in my family or care less about getting the family together, but I just think that overall women do enjoy more sentimental events that include getting the family together than men do.

Explaining the Gender Gap in Help to Parents:
The Importance of Employment
Natalia Sarkisian and Naomi Gerstel

This article examines the gender gap of ones willingness as adults to spend time taking care of their parents. Daughters are more likely to spend more time helping their parents than sons, and Sarkisian and Gerstel attempt to explain why. In attempting to discover why females are more apt to help their elderly parents than males, Sarkisian and Gerstel study the structural differences in the types of jobs men have and the types of jobs women have. I thought that it was really interesting that another variable that contributed to the gender gap was race, and that African American women, employed or non- employed were more likely than European Americans to help their parents, and also that the level of education affected one’s likeliness to help their parents.

The Time Bind

Chapter 14
The Time Bind: Third Shift

This article attempts to show readers the impact that work has had on the everyday family life. Throughout this article Hochschild describes through the use of her one example, Amerco, how the value of private life and the family have decreased do to an increase in the value of work. Her reasoning for a greater emphasis on the work is because people generally feel more appreciated and valued at work than at the home, feeling that even at times work felt more like home and the home felt more like work due not only the fact that work was more interesting to them, but also to the emotional support they received there from their closest friends and the greater recognition that they received at work. Family and work instead of working together, has actually become competition, as Hochschild describes the shift amongst the four different types of families. Hochschild notes that the four different families include the “haven model”, the “traditional model”, the “no-job weak family” and the “work-family balance model,” and the “reversal model” that has recently become popular in working parents. Learning to manage the home and the workplace has through history and changing economic times become something that working parents have had to deal with. However in modern times, work has become a substitute for family time and time spent during the third shift- dealing with the emotions and problems at home. I thought that one of the most important points that Hochschild made throughout her article was that families have become dependent on other forms of entertainment to help them “get through” the emotional part of family life. Entertainment and watching television as a family has been used as a substitute for actually communicating and actually getting to try and emotionally connect with family members. Instead of having their own conversations and making their own jokes as a family, they are laughing and commenting on other’s conversations and jokes of tv families. In response to the “burdens” of the third shift, parents are also completing tasks and activities with their children more rapidly than actually spending time. Working parents depend more on scheduled time to spend time with their children and their spouse due to their busy work schedules and outside commitments that they have to their jobs. And instead of working on contributing to their best ability to their family, they are doing the least so as to save time for work. Another important fact that Hochschild brought up was that those who have the most authority and power in companies, who are mostly men are the only people who can actually launch a family- friendly environment in which the compromises and sacrifices that children have to make due to the amount of time dedicated to their parents’ work could be more balanced, however very few have interest in advocating this work environment, making it harder to bridge the gap between family and work.

Chapter 15
Many working families due to long working hours and heavy job commitments struggle to find the balance between having a gratifying work experience and having a gratifying family life. Hochschild calls this the time bind, in which parents find themselves compromising certain family values and family time for work. One way parents respond to their overwhelming demands of time as Hochschild describes is by leaving their children alone as their primary type of childcare. Many modern day families have decided that leaving their children alone trains them to become self- sufficient and independent, which although it does Hochschild also notes can be dangerous. Leaving one’s child at home can not only encourage more tv time for one’s children, but also exposes children to dangers such as alcohol, tobacco or marijuana, and may cause other problems later down the road such as fear of reoccurring nightmares, fear of noises, of the dark and personal safety. Another solution that Hochschild says that parents make is resorting to time-saving goods and services that speedup regular household tasks and allows parents, especially mothers to buy time. Substitutes for family time include summer camp, pre-ordered meals, and learning centers that allow for children to stay after hours. The concept of buying time so as to avoid actually spending time with your family or with your child to me just sounds irresponsible and selfish. I think that as a parent your primary priority should be taking care of your children, and although I think that outside childcare is acceptable amongst working parents, using childcare and time-saving services that allow parents to avoid spending time preparing dinner for their families is taking away from many of the things that allow families to develop their own values, traditions and quality time essential for building relationships. Hochschild also refers to the potential self and the actual self. Parents decide to separate the potential self from the actual self, so as to acknowledge all of the things they wish they could do if they had the time. It shows their families and especially their children that they have the desire to do and be a more pro- active parent and if they weren’t so consumed with their work, they would do these things and be that person. I think that although the potential self may be in a way making false promises to your family and children, it also shows your family that although you may not have the time right now, you have the desire to spend more time with them and you are constantly thinking about them and the type of person that you want to be for them. This time bind that Hochschild describes throughout her article is something very prevalent in modern times and although there may not be any one direct solution to solving the problem, parents are trying to figure out ways to readjust their time so as to better provide for their family in terms of quality time.

Maternal Employment and Time with Children: Dramatic Change or Surprising Continuity?
Suzanne M. Bianchi

The article Maternal Employment and Time with Children: Dramatic Change or Surprising Continuity by Suzanne Bianchi attempts to understand if the recent increase in the labor force participation of women has resulted in declining time investments in children. I think the most interesting comparison that Bianchi makes is the time spent of employed mothers and non employed mothers. The investigation done by Nock and Kingston reveals that although employed mothers on their longest working day spent less time with children than did non employed mothers and spent less direct “ quality” time with children, the time non employed mothers spent with their children was not devoted to childcare or direct play, but rather time cooking and doing household chores. “Non employed mothers spent more than twice as much time per day with their preschoolers, but the difference in time for direct childcare and play/ education was less than one hour.” Another important point that Bianchi makes is the actual amount of time that children spend at home and not in another form of childcare such as school. Children spend most of their time in an educational setting in which during that time parents are at work. So for long periods of time, and for several years, it would be hard for parents to actually spend time with their children, and then accounting the time that children actually desire to spend with their friends rather than with their family. As a child, I remember being taken care of by family members and especially by neighbors after school before I was at the age to get involved in extra curricular activities. However, during high school, I would stay after school and not get home until six in the evening. As I adjusted my time spent at home and at school, both of my parents also had to do that. They would postpone dinner until my sister and I got home so that we could still have dinner and spend time together. This is an important point that Bianchi makes in her account and in considering good mothering. Another thing that I found interesting was that while mothers on average have not reduced their time with children, married fathers have significantly increased the time they spend with their children.

The Career Mystique

“The Career Mystique is the expectation that employees will invest all their time, energy and commitment throughout their “prime” adult years in their jobs, with the promise of moving up in seniority or ascending job ladders” Based off of the feminine mystique that captures the life of the middle class woman, who lived off of the family wage, the career mystique mirrors this life because it shows the perspective of the man’ life according to the American Dream. Men have become centered around their work because they have had women to take care of the details of the family and the home. The article begins by talking about the lives of Lisa and David, who as an effect of the career mystique have suffered in their personal lives. I think that one interesting point made in the article “ The Career Mystique” is one of the five societal trends that us as the United States face in the ways in which we think about, organize and regulate careers and the life course. In the article, the recent shifts in marital and educational paths that challenge ideas about adulthood is noted. Many students are delaying going to work, and are actually continuing on their educational path, going to graduate school or professional school until they are thirty, remaining economically dependent upon their parents. In modern day America, all genders want to do it all, have a career, be caring parents and happy spouses, and this is all instilled in American institutions. However, the main focus of young people today, is to become successful and skillful in their careers and jobs; allowing institutions to encourage students to center their lives around their career. Success however is harder to come by for minority individuals, and especially with the feminine mystique still ingrained in our society’s heads, it is hard for the career mystique to encompass everyone, and allow for equal opportunity for all.

Overworked Individuals or Overworked Families
Jerry Jacobs, Kathleen Gerson

The article Overworked Individuals or Overworked Families begins with explaining to readers that the demands that an individual faces at work creates limits on the time that individuals can spend with their families. The difficulties in setting the boundary between time and work resides in the fact that “too much time at work can undermine personal and family welfare, whereas too little time can endanger a family’s economic security and lower its standard of living.” I think this is a great point that Jacobs and Gerson make, because I think that as children of working parents we also have to recognize the sacrifices that our parents make in order for us to have a good life. Many times my parents wish that they could stay at home and just relax with my sister and I, but they are not able to always make such sacrifices financially. As our primary providers, they are there to make sure that first and foremost our basic needs that require money are met.
The article begins by stating two theses, one stating that American families are spending too much time at work and another stating that there is an increase in leisure time amongst working parents. The overworked- American thesis however concludes that the increase in annual income is due to the number of weeks worked per year and the increased leisure thesis is due to younger people retiring and people staying in school longer. Jacobs and Gerson also focus working time of the individual versus the dual earner family. Though there is a small increase in the average working time of dual- earner couples as group there is also a number of couples whose joint hours are high. Those couples that have the most education, most prestigious jobs and occupations experience a growth in working time. Another important concern that Jacob and Gerson also brought to this article is the consequences that working time has on children, especially those belonging to single mothers whose sole income is the most depended source of money for the whole family.

Children’s Perspectives of Employed Mothers and Fathers: Closing the Gap Between Public Debates and Research Findings
Ellen Galinsky

Galinsky’s article, is a study that focuses on how employed parents affect a child’s development. Throughout her study, Galinsky tries to answer several debate questions concerning parents’ employment and child’s development such as, 1. Is having an employed mother good or bad for children? 2. Is it mothering or fathering? 3. Is child care good or bad for children? And 4. Is it Quality time or quantity time. By surveying a diverse sample of children, Galinsky draws many conclusions.
“A mother who works outside the home can have just as good a relationship with her children as a mother who does not work.” Upon asking this question, Galinsky received a range of answers, finally concluding that mothers and fathers both have a different view on the subject. The most profound difference that Galinsky received was that although there was no difference in dual- earner couples, there were large differences among fathers with employed spouses and those with a spouse at home. Because economics plays a major role and is a priority amongst most parents, a majority of parents, most of those who were both employed, felt that mothers should only work if they needed to help support their families financially. Among fathers, many believed that mothers should stay home regardless of their financial situation. What I found most interesting about this debate was Galinsky’s question of what other employed parents thought about moms who worked but could afford to stay home. I feel that work should be something enjoyable, and though one may live a comfortable life and be supported financially by their husbands, people should take part in something that they like. I think that it is important for all members of a family to contribute in some way or another and if a mother enjoys working and enjoys making money, then she should be allowed and supported in her choice to work. Galinsky also draws the relationship among parents who work and child behavior, such as their healthy development and success in school. He concludes that there is no difference between children with employed mothers and those with mothers at home. As I agree, what really matters is how children are mothered and whether mothers are warm and responsive and priorities in their lives. Another interesting point that Galinsky brought up was how studies and society fail to see the potential harm of a father’s employment to children. A father’s primary role is seen as being the economic provider, and the mother as the primary caretaker. However through her study, we come to recognize that the father actually plays a very important role in the child’s mental and motor development, such as receiving better scores on school tests or managing everyday social problems.
Galinsky finally debates that the only way for us to see changes in the way in which society views parenting is by changing the way we thing about things. We must be open to the fact that as society is changing, our style of parenting has to adopt in order for parents to have a good relationship with their children. What is most important is keeping a good family environment in which it doesn’t matter if both parents are working or not, the children can feel comfortable in confronting them about any issues that they may face. Another suggestion that Galinsky makes is including children’s perspectives in work- family literature. I think that in order for us to gain a true understanding of the way that work and the way that stress from work impacts parent-child relationship, is by actually surveying and asking the children who are most affected by these changes.

How to Succeed in Childhood
Judith Harris

Harris’s article How to Succeed in Childhood attempts to show how society has the largest impact on a child’s life. Throughout her article, Harris explains the differences between the parent- child relationship and the child- peer relationship to emphasize her thought on how children are more apt to relate and learn from other children rather than their own parents. Harris refers to Freud’s study on how children tend to mirror their parents of the same sex in order to prove how unhealthy and untrue it actually is in society. Harris believes that when a child imitates their parents in order to learn how to be grownups, they actually get themselves into more trouble because there are certain limitations on what children can do in comparison to what parents can do. She concludes with this thought with “a child’s goal is not to become an adult; a child’s goal is to be a successful child.” I tend to disagree with Harris on this point. I think that parents serve as an essential role model for children. Because children are so easily influenced, and they are so willing to learn, they do in fact imitate their parents at a young age because that is who they mostly are around. Yes, there are certain things that children cannot do because they are not adults, but their parents should be there to guide them into making responsible decisions as children that they will carry with them through adulthood. I do agree with her that children should strive to be successful as children, but I do think that their values and the lessons that they learn in the home from their parents are most important in making them successful as children. Harris also makes the point that the relationships that children make at home with their parents and siblings do not affect the relationships that they make outside the home with their peers. She makes the example of immigrant parents, where their children are born into a bicultural world, and live two separate worlds. Harris concludes that although their two worlds are separate, the outside world, which does not encompass their family’s culture, takes precedence, and the children are left compromising not blending their two worlds. Once again, I find myself disagreeing with Harris. Coming from a family in which both of my parents are immigrants, I feel that their culture is what stands out most in the way in which I choose my friendships, and also stands out in the different values that I have about most things. Because my family’s culture is so strong and the values of that culture have been embedded in me since I was a baby, I find it hard to leave them behind, and completely assimilate myself into a culture that I do not entirely identify with. Instead I have learned to blend my family’s beliefs and those of the outside world, taking what I learn at home and applying them to my everyday life, mostly relying on my values and beliefs that originated from my family’s culture. Harris’ main point was to show how society’s affect on children takes precedence over parental influences. Harris goes into describing how children learn to categorize and separate people into separate social groups in which they are most influenced by. Harris believes that socialization occurs mainly within a child’s play group, or a group of their peers, rather than their familial group. I do agree with her that children are influenced by their environment, the friends in which they socialize with and do gain a sense of community with their child groups but I also think that their primary social group will always be their family. A child can choose their friends according to what is socially acceptable according to their parents and the values of their families, and although they children do learn to identify with a certain peer group, their home training should guide them in the type of peer group in which they decide to socialize. Society and media do play a large role in the way in which children enter into the real world, but as children, parents play an important role in being good role models, that their children should emulate.

Children’s Share in Household Tasks
Frances K. Goldscheider and Linda Waite

Children’s Share in Household Tasks attempts to inform readers of the gender defined roles that exist in children’s household tasks. Children learn gender roles in the home at an early age by not only watching the differences in the type of housework that their mother and father do, but also in the type of housework that they are assigned. Goldscheider and Waite make an interesting point however in their survey that shows that many American families today have shied away from having their children complete housework because they would rather them be more successful in the workforce. Children are actually not getting much or any experience in working at home, as their mothers are completing most of it, and men have taken on more industrial jobs. However, Goldscheider and Waite also point that some parents do feel that their children should share some responsibility in the housework because it builds character, and helps them develop a sense of responsibility. Chores are used to prepare the child for household tasks that they will use later on in their adult lives, though they are mostly focused on the chores expected to be completed by daughters such as cooking, laundry and cleaning. Another interesting study that Goldsheider and Waite also show is the amount of sharing of housework completed by the children. In two parent households, it is dependent on the age of the children, and also specific tasks are directed toward certain genders. However in single parent, single mother households, sons are more likely to complete more housework than daughters because they are expected to take care of the work that would be completed by their absent father, and mothers are working longer hours for less money than what would be obtained from a combined income. I found this article very interesting, because as a child I was never expected to complete any other work except cleaning my own room and making my own bed. I actually wish that my parents would have given me chores and allowance so that I could learn how to complete these household tasks that are essential for adult living, and also so that I could learn better time management. I feel that learning how to cook, do laundry and even cut the grass are skills that because they are not taught at school, should be taught at home, so as to be able to better prepare for adult life.

Pricing the Priceless Child; From Useful to Useless and back to Useful
Vivian Zelizer

Vivian Zelizer’s Pricing the Priceless Child makes some interesting points regarding the changing roles of children in the household. She notes the change from the worker to the sacred and innocent child to the child that had to work. What she struggles with however is the loss of the sentimental aspect to the child if they are paid for their work. What is a child’s work worth; how much do we value our children and their work? She explains the complex interaction between the child and the market in describing the switch from the exploitation of the child for their work to the sentimental, sacred child. Another important fact that Zelizer makes is the difference of the private and public love for children. In today’s American society we tend to practice private love for our own individual child, rather than reaching out and extending our love publicly to other people’s children. Parents reach out to their own children in fear that they will leave the home, thus through buying them incredible material items and denying the responsibility factor, programs are not supported to help other children. One other point that Zelizer makes is the change from the “Age of Protection” to the “Age of Preparation”. Parents are beginning to rush children into adult behavior after their innocence has disappeared. Thus she questions the meaning of a real childhood, and is nostalgic toward returning to a childlike childhood so as to preserve the innocence of children while still giving them a sense of responsibility by encouraging them to work. I agree with this statement and do think that children should be taught to work, and taught to learn skills that require them to be responsible. This work ethic should be carried with them throughout adulthood, and if managed correctly should also allow them to still be children and participate in regular childlike activities.

Fathering

The Absent Black Father

Dorothy Roberts

Dorothy Roberts writes The Absent Black Father to inform readers of the fatherlessness that exists within black America. Fatherlessness is defined as single motherhood. It is a father who is not married to the mother of his child either by choice, by separation, or divorce. Fatherlessness is not having direct contact with the child. Roberts begins her article stating that the fundamental reason for society’s problems are caused by the lack of involvement of black fathers within their children’s lives. Fatherlessness as Roberts observes is considered to be normal and accepted among the black community. A female-headed household in which the mother or othermothers provide the primary care for children is considered common, and is the most dominant structure for black families. This structure however is abnormal compared to the majority of society, in which the ideal father is the breadwinner and the family is centered around the role of the male. Society defines a good father as someone who is able to completely support his family financially. The breadwinning husband, who sustains the family in their finances and exposes them to a well off social network, is a good father in which his family can depend on. However, because a black man is not exposed to the goods of society as readily as a white man, he struggles with being able to live up to society’s expectations of a good father. Instead black families follow the pattern of the black matriarch in which the woman becomes independent of her husband, in order to sustain her children. The discovery as Roberts makes is that black men lack the opportunity to attain well paying jobs that can support their families due to societal injustices that promote white privilege and motivate racial inequality. What I found most interesting about this article was the “bridefare” programs that give mothers monetary rewards for marrying. I find it so discouraging to women that the only way that society thinks they can survive and make a good life for themselves and their children is by being dependent upon their husbands. Within the article it states that the bridefare program denies any income support to an unmarried woman who lives with the working father of her child, to a working mother who does not have a husband, and to two mothers who pool their money together to support their children in a single household. The only way for women to receive support from this program is if they are married and are receiving financial support from their husbands. I however encourage the independent woman, who is not reliant on her husband’s money and wants to make a living to support herself and her child. I think that society should support the many different ways of parenting and should not normalize a certain lifestyle but be accepting and tolerant of all lifestyles and family structures.

No Man’s Land Introduction

Kathleen Gerson

The Introduction to No Man’s Land by Kathleen Gerson is an article that emphasizes the change that has occurred and is occurring among men. Gerson begins by briefly with the image of the breadwinner. She notes that although men were typically considered to be breadwinners in the past, there were also families, never accounted for, who had employed wives. These families were seen as dysfunctional as they defied social norms, and deemed husbands as failures to be good providers for their families. Women now- a-days as Gerson examines have undergone a revolution that allows for women coming from very diverse backgrounds to be employed. Women who are married, unmarried, or mothers have entered into the workplace, rearranging social rules and norms. The change in men, however is the main focus of Gerson’s article. Gerson notes the decline of the primary breadwinner as the man’s role as well as their cultural support. Redefining manhood and what it actually means in society is a task that men have had to take due to their ever-changing roles in a household. One important and rather interesting thing that Gerson also noticed in the changing man, is the slow change toward men’s participation in domestication. Men, although women are participating in the paid workforce, still have yet to participate as actively in domestic chores such as housework and child care. Equality between a man and a woman’s role has yet to occur because women are now seen as double participants, inside and outside of the home. Gerson also goes into to explaining men’s increasing desire for freedom, and lack of commitment and responsibility which has influenced an increase in the divorce rate, in the postponing of marriage, and in becoming fathers. This I see as something very typical of young men, yet hope that the majority of men do want to settle down and want to share their lives and their fortunes with another person. Explaining men’s lives and their behavior toward family and work is hard to make generalizations about. As Gerson explains, we as women tend to put men in one category and women in another. We focus on differences between men and women, and fail to recognize that there are variations amongst men. Gerson hopes that by examining the variations amongst men, she can learn to understand how men construct their choices dependent upon the diverse ways in which men experience relationships and the world. The individual experiences of men contribute greatly to how they experience their privileges within their world.

The Myth of Masculinity

Kathleen Gerson

No Man’s Land as defined by Gerson is the state in which most men are as of now after experiencing the many changes that have rearranged social rules and norms that have left them uncertain about male privilege and power. The changes that Gerson examines in The Myth of Masculinity emphasize changes in workplace opportunities, relationships and experiences with children. Balancing family and work in a revolution that encourages societal change as men face the conflict of redefining masculinity and what it means to be a man is what Gerson hopes to examine. Gerson first defines masculine personality. Men’s childhood experiences shape the way in which men make choices as adults and respond to conflicts that they encounter in life. However because individual experiences are different for each person, choices cannot be explained by a generalized complex of personality qualities that are commonly used to label males. Gerson attempts to explain to readers that neither masculine personality, masculine culture, nor male dominance are ways to explain how men rationalize and make conscious decisions and responses. Rather, men’s values, qualities and characteristics should not be categorized, but rather individual experiences should be valued and should precedent experiences that happen later on in their lives. As masculinity and manhood are being redefined in society, men should learn to base their understandings of the world, and of relationships of family and work off their knowledge that they have gained throughout their personal experiences.

Having It all: The Mother and Mr. Mom

Francine Deutsch

Having it All: The Mother and Mr. Mom by Francine Deutsch examines how working class couples balance family and work. Deutsch begins by explaining how parents who both work take alternate shifts in order to provide efficient child care and take care of basic housework. The most simple explanation as to why couples have alternate shifts is because of money, and the expenses that childcare endure. Having alternate shifts also make living at home more comfortable. It is believed that children should be taken care of by family. The bond that is created between the parent and the child during childcare is essential in the emotional and psychological development of the child. Deutsch also makes an interesting point in saying that although in alternating- shift families, the father is more present than the image of the breadwinner family, the mothers still remain the mothers. Mothers always seem to make their children’s lives their priority, and shift their schedules so that they can always have more time allotted to spending with their children. Women want to be home as a parent because they think they should be home, this is what defines a mother for most women. Men also still cling to the idea as the mother as the primary and nurturing parent. As a child all throughout high school, I lived in an alternate-shift family. My father would make breakfast for my sister and I and take us to school , and my mother would pick us up after school and take us to our other extra curricular activities. I think that it was a good balance because there was never a day where I never saw both of my parents. They always found a way to be involved in my everyday activities whether it was making me breakfast or dinner or coming to one of my afterschool events.

Mothering

Introduction

Ann Crittendon, The Price of Motherhood

In Ann Crittendon’s “The Price of Motherhood”, she uses her personal experience as a professional and a mother to show readers the importance of mothers. Throughout her article, she notes how unrecognized mother’s work is, as it relates to other work paid outside of the home. Crittendon defines a mother as “selfless service to another”. A mother’s work requires complete devotion and dedication to raising her children along with forgetting or ignoring her own needs so as to give her all to her children. I do agree with Crittendon that child rearing is the most important job in the world. The way in which children are raised truly shapes the future, in its achievements and in its people who carry out those achievements. However, raising children and being a mother is work taken for granted. Housewives are often misunderstood as beautiful, classy women who sit around their houses all day waiting on their husbands and dreaming about using their husband’s money for shopping, when in reality, many housewives are taking care of daily chores plus that of raising a child. The calculation that Crtitendon performs to add up the amount of work and money that mothers put into servicing their families is in actuality a very significant amount of money that is denied and unrecognized by society. These chores go unpaid, taken for granted, and are in fact very risky to the mother’s in the future. Crittendon explains that because of the divorce rate, mothers are taking a huge chance in not working outside of the home in order to care for their children, because in all truth the money earned by the worker is really only their own. As a society, we need to start recognizing a mother’s work as providing to good people to the bigger society. By providing special services such as paid maternity leave, or day care at their job, to allow mothers to work outside of the home as well as take care of their children we as a society can work toward balancing the efforts and the fairness of mothers.

Women as Fathers: Motherhood and Child Care under a Modified Patriarchy

Barbara Katz Rothman

Rothman’s Motherhood and Child Care under a Modified Patriarchy introduces readers to the aspects of patriarchal privilege. The seed as a term stemmed from the bible is what connects fathers to their children. Their seed and their genetics is what makes fathers parents, as apposed to the nurturance and body that makes mothers connect to their children. Parenthood however is technically defined by genetics, as Rothman explains technically allows an individual to be equally related to their mothers and fathers. Understanding of this concept recognizes the legal and social rights and claims of the parents, mother and father. However throughout history and still currently today, there is still a traditional sense of parenthood, and men are still considered the dominant and controlling figure in a family. With the introduction and on- going success of procreative technology, women’s egg (seed) is considered as important as the contribution of a man’s seed, thus launching women as patriarchs. Women can come to own their children just as men own them and have rights to them just as men do. What most interested me in this article is the special connection that children had to their substitute caregivers as opposed to the relationship that they actually had with their own mothers. I feel that the mother-child relationship that develops is one that is special and irreplaceable by any other caregiver. The mothering experience is not only exclusive to the mother in her becoming a selfless individual who loves and devotes her life to her child, but it is also special for the child. The nurturance that is received by the child from the mother cannot be replaced by a substitute or an assistant. The recognition of power and control that the mother has over the child that the assistant does not have strengthens that mother- child relationship. I agree that mothers should and do have a right to their children as caregivers and as authoritative figures.

Black Feminist Thought: Black Women and Motherhood

Patricia Hill Collins

Collins article brings light to a traditionally different type of mothering that occurs in African American households. The images that are usually associated with black mothering are that of the mammy, the matriarch and the welfare mother. Motherhood, as Collins notes can actually serve as a way for black women to empower, respect and redefine themselves as women in society who have been oppressed and experience many social problems. One thing that Collins highlights in her article is the notion of othermothers. Othermothers are women, usually family members or close members in the community who care for children so that the mother can continue to go to work and take care of the family. The presence of othermothers is very common amongst black mothers, and is reciprocated throughout the community. Collins also notes the image of the “superstrong” black matriarch who to society is a strong disciplinarian. This mother is the one who teaches her daughter how to survive and handle anything that may come her way. This image of the black mother was the one that most stood out to me. Many times black mothers get a reputation for being mean, harsh and overprotective of their children; however, black children must be somewhat prepared to face the struggles that they may face as minorities. I feel that black mothers make it a priority to be leaders in their children’s lives, by helping them develop skills that will make them independent and self sufficient individuals who are well educated and do not need to depend on men for survival. By providing a support system within the community, and by being an active mother, black mothers are the foundation for black leaders in society.

As a black woman, I found this article especially relatable to my personal life and upbringing. Because both of my parents worked, my sister and I were left to be taken care of by another relative, specifically my grandmother when we were very young. By surrounding us with family instead of another caretaker, I believe was most beneficial to my upbringing. My family instilled values of education, and self-worth and respect into my lifestyle at a very early age, that I believe could not have been done with having another caretaker.

The Wage Penalty for Motherhood

Michelle Budig

The Wage for Motherhood, provides readers insight into the disparities that exist within the workforce for mothers. Mothers joining the workforce have a very hard time in attaining much financially because as Budig concludes, mothers have to compensate their duties outside of the home with their duties within the home. Many mothers because they cannot afford to have a full time, and big paying job, receive low wages and wage penalties. The wage penalty for motherhood is also a result of gender inequality. Motherhood is often not recognized as a job, and for that it is unpaid. Budig refers to society as “free riders” who receive free labor from mothers, while mothers receive lower wages. As agreed in Budig’s article as well as in Crittendon’s article, the resources that are available to women as mothers and as professionals are lacking and do not allow women to be as productive in the workforce as men. Women are forced to take on part time jobs or otherwise known as “mother-friendly” jobs so as to allow for time to complete household duties that are rarely performed by men. As a woman in today’s society, we face discrimination that limits us in our job opportunities, and as mothers we take an even greater risk as companies do not offer particular resources that motivate being a mother and a professional.

Domesticity and the Family

Introduction

The introduction to Joan William’s Unbending Gender: why family and work conflict and what to do about it, attempts to introduce the theme of domesticity that defines gender norms and roles within family life. The ideology of domesticity as Williams describes, is one that separates the responsibilities of the market worker and the caregiver. The inability for the market worker to both perform in the market and inside of the home gives rise to domesticity, thus justifying the breadwinner and housewife roles. As gender roles are further defined, Williams also particularly looks at the effect that domesticity has had on a woman’s income and work ethic, and also how it affects the dynamic of family life as the father’s involvement in their children’s lives is minimized.

Specifically, William’s description and observation of the ideal worker, and the sex discrimination that resulted from defining the ideal worker sparked my interest. Williams describes the ideal worker as someone who works forty hours or more a week year round. For most families, this kind of work ethic is traditionally feasible by only men who can dedicate that much time to their jobs because their wives and their mothers of their children continue to fulfill household and caregiver duties. Mothers, as Williams explains do not have the same or equal opportunity to participate or to dedicate themselves to jobs as men do. What was most surprising to me was that though the wage gap between men and women has decreased the gap between “mothers and others” has increased according to William’s figure that mothers who work full time earn only sixty cents for every dollar earned by full-time fathers. I am curious to see why this gap and wage inequality continues to exist and why the work place is not working to compensate and take interest in women who are mothers and who are depended upon to provide for not only themselves but also for their children. I think that the traditional notion of the ideal worker needs to be redefined in order to include family work within that of market work.

Chapter One

Chapter one of Joan William’s Unbending Gender: why family and work conflict and what to do about it, “Is Domesticity Dead?”, explores choice rhetoric as it applies to women having the free choice to decide whether or not to be an ideal worker. Choice rhetoric refers to the woman’s choice to participate in jobs that require less education and skill so as to be able to fulfill their responsibilities and “natural” duty as a housewife and a mother. A woman’s job outside of the market is very much influenced by her work within the home, which Williams explores and observes by following the story of Deborah Fallows.

Deborah Fallows is a woman who as a result of her husband’s demanding job, decides to abandon her job so as to care for her children. Through the story of Fallows, Williams attempts to discover the reasons as to why women “fall” into the traditional arrangement that domesticity defines. Again we see Williams constructing the standards fit for an ideal worker, in which Fallows failed to meet after having her children. “She did not want a family where children “say good-night to Mom and Dad on the phone instead of having books read and getting hugs,” and eat dinner with their nanny instead of their parents

(p 16).” Her obligations and demands as a mother trumped her capabilities and desire to perform as a dedicated worker in the market, thus leading her to her decision to leave her job. Williams continues to talk about the language of status and what it means in a relationship. Traditionally and socially, the husband uses the language of status to decide issues of whether or not he will “permit” the wife to work, or to determine his entitlements to the services of his wife. The husband, as depicted in Fallow’s relationship was entitled to performing as an ideal worker who made overall decisions that affected his family life. Mrs. Fallows’ decision to leave her job in order to provide for her household are affects of domesticity, the main theme in which Williams organizes this chapter.

Traditionally, the roles between women and men have been structurally defined as the man as the provider and authoritative figure, and the woman as the home maker. This was best defined as Williams describes the “Great Chain of Being”. The Great Chain of Being was the line of authority that ascended from God that provided as a hierarchical method in ranking individuals. Men were on top and had the most power, as women were below them and were considered the weaker individuals. The man’s job determined where the family lived, their social life, who was responsible for completing housework and the wife’s career plans. What was “natural” according to society, influenced gender work roles. Men were considered to be natural competitors who could survive in the workplace and women were considered to be “moral mothers” who belonged at home taking care of the children and provide moral support for their family.

Going further in discussing the “ideal worker” and what that means to mothers and families, Williams notes the demands that are required as mothers, recognizing that being a mother is a full time job in which men rarely take part in. Men feel that it is there primary responsibility to perform as breadwinners and ideal workers and as a result of this, women feel obligated to stay at home and care for the family and their husbands who are working forty + hours a week. Mothering however has become a full job that requires a lot of time, energy, and sacrifice. Williams goes on to discuss how mothers do not even want their children being raised by babysitters. They want to be there all the time and there to give whatever whenever to the point where having someone else watch their kids was not good mothering. I believe that children need a balance between having a mother at home to take care of them and give them all of the care that they want, but at the same time I believe that a mother deserves to take time for herself and work so as to also provide for her family and especially her children. The time that mothers and children spend together should be valued and recognized however childcare should not be basis of a mother’s lives. Instead gender roles should be able to be reconstructed and allow the fathers to also take part and play a role in the child’s life.

From Rods to Reasoning

Sharon Hay’s From Rods to Reasoning is an article to prove that mothering is socially constructed. Through studying the social transitions that mothers experienced throughout history, we come to see that there are many alternatives to raising children. Hay’s explores the transitions that child rearing has undergone such as from the time when children were raised by many women, older siblings or the church, to modern days in which women see the only acceptable way in raising a child is being there as a full time mom. Values instilled within children also varied. Children used to attend work from the time they were six or seven and were seen as economically valuable as they performed work and helped their parents with work. Upon the emergence of the innocent child, mothers began to believe that the only way in which they could instill good values in them was by being their primary caretaker and provider. This is the type of mothering that is apparent today when describing intense mothering. Women became most concerned with keeping their children away from the world’s evils as providing moral guidance was the basis of their child care. As a society, I believe that we can learn to appreciate children and their many abilities and talents a little bit more by including them into society however I do agree that we should try and preserve a child’s innocence. After all they really are only children once.

American Fathering in Historical Perspective

This article attempts to further explain and recognize the changes that occurred amongst fathers in the United States. Previously fathers were very involved in their children’s lives. He was there as their provider, their teacher and served as a moral guide. They were very much concerned with educating the young and guiding his son in particular down the right occupational calling. The relationship between the father and the son was also stressed throughout this article. The son was seen to be the “hope” of the father. The father would be very involved in his son’s life and would lead his son to do the right things. Further within the article however is the discussion of the decreased involvement and participation of the father as they became the “distant breadwinner” Women were obligated to take care of the children while their husbands were away, and they became the unselfish and nurturing mother. It is said that the maternal influence proved to be greater on the son because of the increased distance that the son experienced from the father. Although the father still had ultimate authority, the mother’s influence and teachings were what was carried through in their children’s lives. I think that it is important that we as a society stress today how important it is for both parents to be involved in their children’s lives. Not only do they provide support and motivation, but they are essential in the development of their children’s morals, values and beliefs that they will learn to live by.

"From Marriage to Market", "Feminism, Children and the New Families"

The relationship between marriage, work and family is unique for all time periods, all races, classes, and all households. Through reading "From Marriage to The Market" and "Feminism, Children and the New Families", I have come to understand the importance and relevance of different gender roles within the domestic household and within the outside workplace that affect the way in which a family operates.

Susan Thistle describes that throughout history men ultimately controlled the lives of their wives and their families financially and legally. Marriage was in fact a bargain in which a man and woman participated in so as to survive physically and financially. In exchange for domestic labor, such as everyday household chores and child care, the woman would receive support from her husband that would allow her to exist in a society that was money dependent. The encounter with the market for both African American women and white women was similar in which they both faced conflict in balancing domestic and paid work, however different in the types of demands in which they required. "From Marriage to Market" served as a detailed work that introduced the difficulties that women had interacting with the market, as it challenged their primary duties as wives and mothers.

"Feminism, Children, and the New Families" was helpful in describing the trends as they relate to married or single women who are working or not working. Dornbusch and Strober introduced theories of the breadwinner system and the egalitarian system as they relate to the dynamics of marriage, family and work.

The transformation that occurred in the lives of women as a result of the Industrial Revolution became an epic change that affected all of society. As opportunities rose for women to work (after WWII), women had proved their capability to endure in "men's work" and complete tasks that weren't performed at home. With newer and bigger challenges that they had to face as they entered the workforce, women also struggled with maintaining her primary job.

The pressures in which women face not only just as a woman but also as a mother and a wife are those that cannot be compared to any other. Men desire women who are independent and take an interest in working and making their own money so that they can buy their own clothes and can offer to pay the check at dinner, but they also want women who are domesticated. Women are expected to know how to cook, how to clean, how to take care of children, and also how to present themselves in front of their man. Songs today like Neyo's "Miss Independent" suggest that his initial attraction to this woman was her ability to be independent, go to work and buy all of the things that she wants without the help of a man, which for girls is inspirational and can serve as a tool to motivate young women to go to school, make their own money and support themselves first before supporting a family, or relying on a man to support them. This trend I have noticed although slowly is growing among young women today.

I think that the rush to get married and have children right out of college, though still quite apparent in some communities. is less likely to occur here as it is in other countries. Many women today have similar if not the same dreams to become successful and make a lot of money as men do. Women, especially that that I see of African American women, have made many sacrifices to actually go to a university, that finding a husband who can take care of them completely is not only a waste of money but also a waste of a mind. Women have become independent in their thoughts and in their actions, as Thistle also speaks of the organizations and unions that women formed to help voice their problems and conflicts that they experienced while working at home and outside of the home.

The natural desire that women have to please, and to take care of their family however still seems to supersede their duties that they have in any other outside job. Family comes first to most women, and as they go out in the world and join the market, their time, their efforts, and most of all their money is returned back to the household either in monetary value or in domestic chores still carried out by the woman. Though our generation is beginning to see more "mr. moms" it is still considered non traditional and looked upon as a unique family. As a society and as a family, not making the gender roles and the duties as specific and distinguished as they are and have been in the past, but rather treating each relationship and household differently, considering all different types of situations and arrangements is a to challenge gender roles and the expectations set out in the division of labor.

From reading "From Marriage to Market," and Feminism, Children and the New Families" I have concluded that each marriage and relationship is different unique in its arrangements, and personalities. The way in which people experience marriage, and family life is unique based off of their own past experiences, and personal desires. Like every job, one must be dedicated and personally invested to allow for success. Whether it be staying at home and taking care of the children or working outside of the home for forty hours a week, each job requires some sort of sacrifice that as a parent, a wife or a husband, must be prepared to make.