Children’s Perspectives of Employed Mothers and Fathers: Closing the Gap Between Public Debates and Research Findings
Ellen Galinsky

Galinsky’s article, is a study that focuses on how employed parents affect a child’s development. Throughout her study, Galinsky tries to answer several debate questions concerning parents’ employment and child’s development such as, 1. Is having an employed mother good or bad for children? 2. Is it mothering or fathering? 3. Is child care good or bad for children? And 4. Is it Quality time or quantity time. By surveying a diverse sample of children, Galinsky draws many conclusions.
“A mother who works outside the home can have just as good a relationship with her children as a mother who does not work.” Upon asking this question, Galinsky received a range of answers, finally concluding that mothers and fathers both have a different view on the subject. The most profound difference that Galinsky received was that although there was no difference in dual- earner couples, there were large differences among fathers with employed spouses and those with a spouse at home. Because economics plays a major role and is a priority amongst most parents, a majority of parents, most of those who were both employed, felt that mothers should only work if they needed to help support their families financially. Among fathers, many believed that mothers should stay home regardless of their financial situation. What I found most interesting about this debate was Galinsky’s question of what other employed parents thought about moms who worked but could afford to stay home. I feel that work should be something enjoyable, and though one may live a comfortable life and be supported financially by their husbands, people should take part in something that they like. I think that it is important for all members of a family to contribute in some way or another and if a mother enjoys working and enjoys making money, then she should be allowed and supported in her choice to work. Galinsky also draws the relationship among parents who work and child behavior, such as their healthy development and success in school. He concludes that there is no difference between children with employed mothers and those with mothers at home. As I agree, what really matters is how children are mothered and whether mothers are warm and responsive and priorities in their lives. Another interesting point that Galinsky brought up was how studies and society fail to see the potential harm of a father’s employment to children. A father’s primary role is seen as being the economic provider, and the mother as the primary caretaker. However through her study, we come to recognize that the father actually plays a very important role in the child’s mental and motor development, such as receiving better scores on school tests or managing everyday social problems.
Galinsky finally debates that the only way for us to see changes in the way in which society views parenting is by changing the way we thing about things. We must be open to the fact that as society is changing, our style of parenting has to adopt in order for parents to have a good relationship with their children. What is most important is keeping a good family environment in which it doesn’t matter if both parents are working or not, the children can feel comfortable in confronting them about any issues that they may face. Another suggestion that Galinsky makes is including children’s perspectives in work- family literature. I think that in order for us to gain a true understanding of the way that work and the way that stress from work impacts parent-child relationship, is by actually surveying and asking the children who are most affected by these changes.

How to Succeed in Childhood
Judith Harris

Harris’s article How to Succeed in Childhood attempts to show how society has the largest impact on a child’s life. Throughout her article, Harris explains the differences between the parent- child relationship and the child- peer relationship to emphasize her thought on how children are more apt to relate and learn from other children rather than their own parents. Harris refers to Freud’s study on how children tend to mirror their parents of the same sex in order to prove how unhealthy and untrue it actually is in society. Harris believes that when a child imitates their parents in order to learn how to be grownups, they actually get themselves into more trouble because there are certain limitations on what children can do in comparison to what parents can do. She concludes with this thought with “a child’s goal is not to become an adult; a child’s goal is to be a successful child.” I tend to disagree with Harris on this point. I think that parents serve as an essential role model for children. Because children are so easily influenced, and they are so willing to learn, they do in fact imitate their parents at a young age because that is who they mostly are around. Yes, there are certain things that children cannot do because they are not adults, but their parents should be there to guide them into making responsible decisions as children that they will carry with them through adulthood. I do agree with her that children should strive to be successful as children, but I do think that their values and the lessons that they learn in the home from their parents are most important in making them successful as children. Harris also makes the point that the relationships that children make at home with their parents and siblings do not affect the relationships that they make outside the home with their peers. She makes the example of immigrant parents, where their children are born into a bicultural world, and live two separate worlds. Harris concludes that although their two worlds are separate, the outside world, which does not encompass their family’s culture, takes precedence, and the children are left compromising not blending their two worlds. Once again, I find myself disagreeing with Harris. Coming from a family in which both of my parents are immigrants, I feel that their culture is what stands out most in the way in which I choose my friendships, and also stands out in the different values that I have about most things. Because my family’s culture is so strong and the values of that culture have been embedded in me since I was a baby, I find it hard to leave them behind, and completely assimilate myself into a culture that I do not entirely identify with. Instead I have learned to blend my family’s beliefs and those of the outside world, taking what I learn at home and applying them to my everyday life, mostly relying on my values and beliefs that originated from my family’s culture. Harris’ main point was to show how society’s affect on children takes precedence over parental influences. Harris goes into describing how children learn to categorize and separate people into separate social groups in which they are most influenced by. Harris believes that socialization occurs mainly within a child’s play group, or a group of their peers, rather than their familial group. I do agree with her that children are influenced by their environment, the friends in which they socialize with and do gain a sense of community with their child groups but I also think that their primary social group will always be their family. A child can choose their friends according to what is socially acceptable according to their parents and the values of their families, and although they children do learn to identify with a certain peer group, their home training should guide them in the type of peer group in which they decide to socialize. Society and media do play a large role in the way in which children enter into the real world, but as children, parents play an important role in being good role models, that their children should emulate.

Children’s Share in Household Tasks
Frances K. Goldscheider and Linda Waite

Children’s Share in Household Tasks attempts to inform readers of the gender defined roles that exist in children’s household tasks. Children learn gender roles in the home at an early age by not only watching the differences in the type of housework that their mother and father do, but also in the type of housework that they are assigned. Goldscheider and Waite make an interesting point however in their survey that shows that many American families today have shied away from having their children complete housework because they would rather them be more successful in the workforce. Children are actually not getting much or any experience in working at home, as their mothers are completing most of it, and men have taken on more industrial jobs. However, Goldscheider and Waite also point that some parents do feel that their children should share some responsibility in the housework because it builds character, and helps them develop a sense of responsibility. Chores are used to prepare the child for household tasks that they will use later on in their adult lives, though they are mostly focused on the chores expected to be completed by daughters such as cooking, laundry and cleaning. Another interesting study that Goldsheider and Waite also show is the amount of sharing of housework completed by the children. In two parent households, it is dependent on the age of the children, and also specific tasks are directed toward certain genders. However in single parent, single mother households, sons are more likely to complete more housework than daughters because they are expected to take care of the work that would be completed by their absent father, and mothers are working longer hours for less money than what would be obtained from a combined income. I found this article very interesting, because as a child I was never expected to complete any other work except cleaning my own room and making my own bed. I actually wish that my parents would have given me chores and allowance so that I could learn how to complete these household tasks that are essential for adult living, and also so that I could learn better time management. I feel that learning how to cook, do laundry and even cut the grass are skills that because they are not taught at school, should be taught at home, so as to be able to better prepare for adult life.

Pricing the Priceless Child; From Useful to Useless and back to Useful
Vivian Zelizer

Vivian Zelizer’s Pricing the Priceless Child makes some interesting points regarding the changing roles of children in the household. She notes the change from the worker to the sacred and innocent child to the child that had to work. What she struggles with however is the loss of the sentimental aspect to the child if they are paid for their work. What is a child’s work worth; how much do we value our children and their work? She explains the complex interaction between the child and the market in describing the switch from the exploitation of the child for their work to the sentimental, sacred child. Another important fact that Zelizer makes is the difference of the private and public love for children. In today’s American society we tend to practice private love for our own individual child, rather than reaching out and extending our love publicly to other people’s children. Parents reach out to their own children in fear that they will leave the home, thus through buying them incredible material items and denying the responsibility factor, programs are not supported to help other children. One other point that Zelizer makes is the change from the “Age of Protection” to the “Age of Preparation”. Parents are beginning to rush children into adult behavior after their innocence has disappeared. Thus she questions the meaning of a real childhood, and is nostalgic toward returning to a childlike childhood so as to preserve the innocence of children while still giving them a sense of responsibility by encouraging them to work. I agree with this statement and do think that children should be taught to work, and taught to learn skills that require them to be responsible. This work ethic should be carried with them throughout adulthood, and if managed correctly should also allow them to still be children and participate in regular childlike activities.