November 23

Emotion and Sex Work

Whose Orgasm is this Anyway? Sex Work in Long term Heterosexual Couple Relationships
Jean Duncombe and Dennis Marsden

This article defines the term sex work as a word that has been used to refer to prostitution- contrasting paid with consensual relationships- feminists also assert marital sex is essentially a form of alienated work- sex work. Duncombe and Marsden attempt to show throughout this article how sex work is carried into the home and into long term heterosexual relationships. Within long term relationships, this article explains that women have expressed dissatisfaction in their intimate relationships, due to the lack of emotion present within sex and within the relationship itself, thus also causing women and men of long term relationships to force themselves to appear as the perfect couple that they are not. However, this image of the perfect couple has been destructing to the way that the media portrays the way in which sex within relationships occur. Gidden describes this “plastic” sexuality that makes it seem as if gender is an innocent factor within sex work, and feelings arising from both partners are spontaneous and not resulting from any work. However, traditionally, sex has made the dominant figure to be played by the male, in which the male doesn’t pay any attention to his partner’s sexual needs, and women have become dependent on satisfying themselves. Self satisfaction is encouraged by the feminists, who say that women need to take the initiative to become sexual subjects, thus making a man’s presence for satisfaction unnecessary. The only way as Hamblin describes that both women and men can benefit from sex, is a concept sexual empathy that requires a woman to be in a relationship with a non- traditional male that doesn’t feel the need to be in power of the relationship.

What I felt that was most disappointing, was that sexual activity experienced a decline within marriage because of stresses from family and from work. Many of those in long term relationships experience deja’vu and flashbacks of their romantic lives before marriage. The decline of passion due to the lack of energy that each individual has within a marriage has caused them to lose that initial feeling and emotion that they experienced with each other when they first met. I found this pretty discouraging and hopeless in a sense, especially as a woman, when many women confessed to never really feeling satisfied within their relationships because so many of them felt shame in admitting or in expressing to their partners that they were not happy with the sexual, passionate aspect of their marriage life. This article also explained how men and women had turned to other forms of sexual satisfaction such as pornography and masturbation, because they could not feel that satisfaction with their own life partners, and with respects to them did not ant to engage in an affair. This also really made me sad, because just the thought that your life partner isn’t providing enough love or enough desire for you anymore is really scary. Just when you thought that you had found the one, you find out that this person isn’t really the person who can provide complete and total joy in your life.





Stepford Wives and Hollow Men
Jean Duncombe and Dennis Marsden

Duncombe and Marsden attempt to explain in this article how emotion work within a relationship has become more about the woman fulfilling the man’s emotional needs thus demonstrating women’s “false consciousness” under male domination and power. A few examples that this article provides as women participating in emotion work are, women trying to make men talk openly about their feelings and confront their problems not only to provide a peace of mind for men, but also to disclose the sense of intimacy that they value within a relationship, women also work more at keeping the relationship together by planning certain things to do, hearing how he feels, and giving men hugs and kisses after something nice happens. Women also repress their sexual tensions, and are said to fake orgasms for their husbands. Women are said to be more worried about satisfying their husbands and making them feel good, thus embodying the image of a stepford wife. This article also argues that men do actually participate in emotion work, but differently from a woman. Men believe that they perform emotion work through being the breadwinner and relieving women of their work related stresses. Emotion work for men is being that financial support for their woman, and coping with all the stresses resulting from being that financial provider. Men also feel that they do participate in emotion work in their sexual lives, as they describe times in which they have had to fake orgasms in order to conform to the ideology of masculinity. However through theses examples, one can see that men’s idea of emotion work is purely personal and selfish, as they suppress their emotions, and resist becoming emotionally involved with their partners. Men have this ability to put up walls and become emotionally remote within their emotional relationships, thus embodying the image as the hollow man.

The loss of authenticity is described in this article as dangerous, as both men and women due to the gaps between real feelings and ideological feelings on how to behave, begin to lose themselves within their personal relationships. Women’s psychological developments in a male-dominated society from theories of fraud are used to help explain why women are greater participants in emotion work than men are. Women are socialized to be attuned to recognize the emotions and needs of others, thus giving more of themselves to others than to themselves personally. Because women are always acting on the behalf of others and not from their true selves they are in turn becoming inauthentic. In contrast, males are encouraged to fulfill the values of masculinity, such as independence and maturity, by always doing and making serving others as secondary. In men’s efforts to suppress their emotional more feminine side, they too are becoming inauthentic in nature. This authenticity is carried throughout marriage in which wives live a “family myth” and succumb to their husbands tasks and obligations, by continuing to take part in a great deal of emotion work in order to convince themselves and others that they have a good relationship. I think that it is important for both people to be invested in revealing themselves emotionally, so as to remain true to their identity. However I can see how emotion work is in fact unequal within the home, causing one person, usually the woman to lose a sense of herself in order to cater to her husband and his needs.


Sex Work for the Middle Class
Elizabeth Bernstein

Bernstein asks the questions, why are middle class women doing sex work, and can sex work be a middle class profession? What can be seen throughout this article is that many of times job opportunities are limited to women, even middle class white women with a college education. Jobs that may seem more socially acceptable do not always offer the most pay, in contrast to participating in sex work that leaves them with a more reliable source of income. Sex work has also become more popular due to the convenience of the internet. The internet has enabled sexual commerce to thrive by increasing the accessibility to information and creating camaraderie amongst those other workers who participate in sex work activities. The internet has also made it easier to advertise services and personalizing one’s own space.

I found it surprising yet and quite discouraging that even women who are well educated and come from a pretty stable home, resort to a career in sex work after thousands of dollars and time are spent on school.


What’s Wrong With Prostitution? What’s Right with Sex Work? Comparing Markets in Female Sexual Labor
Elizabeth Bernstein

This article attempts to explain to readers what prostitution really is as it is commonly misunderstood in today’s society. Bernstein attempts to show us different perspectives on prostitution from a radical feminist who critiques prostitution, pro- sex feminist defenses of prostitution and contextualized feminist approaches to various aspects of the sex work industry. The feminist perspective of prostitution says that prostitution is just another way in which men can objectify women. Prostitution is an abuse of women and of sex, that motivates gender inequality. The availability of sexual services is a part of what makes a man a man, and is what this world has been built off of. The pro- sex feminists say that prostitution allows the woman to be in control in the amount of money they demand and the type of services that they provide. It allows the woman to be emancipated, free and better paid than they would be in any other job.

Then Bernstein describes the several types of prostitutes that there can be. There are those who are drug addicts, those who are college educated, and even men who sell sex to other men. There are a variety of reasons in which people become prostitutes, in which as a society we have to understand. Bernstein also goes into how prostitutes are different and are paid different according to class. They can be distinguished by their different clothes, their ages and their race. There are some who make a significant amount more money than others a night due to the type of clients that they deal with.

The economic and sexual liberty that is experienced is something that prostitution offers. There are some women who have been in sexual, or physical abused in previous relationships, and as a prostitute, this is the first time in which they have actually consented sex. In my opinion I feel that prostitution should be legalized. People should be in control of their own bodies, as long as they are not doing any harm to any other person. The term prostitution is too small to categorize the many different types of prostitution and the many different effects that prostitution can have on the individual and on society.

Paid Carework

Parental Leave and Child Care
Deanne Bonnar

This reading focuses on the inequalities present in care work. Much care work as suggested by Bonnar is conducted by the female. This article also suggests that care giving is not considered work, yet it is a duty expected to be fulfilled by the woman of the household. Women’s labor outside of the home has received little acknowledgment and though they are participating in double the work, housework is continued to be recognized only as a biological right. Bonnar discusses that housework also contains the aspect of care giving and human care. Human care as explained by Bonnar is the aspect of nurturing, and emphasizing the difference between caring for things and people. Women are responsible for not only taking care of regular household chores but also most importantly women are responsible for taking care of their children. This becomes a problem when women participate in both household work and outside market work.
Thus women discover the conflict of scheduling, leave benefits thus limiting them in jobs that are poorly paid. Bonnar also suggests solutions to these problems, especially the most significant of them all, unpaid care work. Because housework has not been defined as work, one interesting suggestion made by Bonnar would be considering to provide wages for domestic work. Another solution that I more agree with than paying for domestic work and care giving, is modifying the time variable that will allow for more personal time with the child and with the family.

The Color of Family Ties
Race, Class, Gender, and Extended Family
Naomi Gerstel and Natalia Sarkisian

Throughout this article, “The Color of Family Ties” Gerstel and Sarkisian attempt to explain to readers the extended family relationships that exists amongst different racial and class groups. In attempting to understand these relationship differences, Gerstel and Sarkisian first note that amongst different families of different races, blacks and latino/a families are more likely to have closer relationships with extended family than that of white families. The reason why blacks and latino/a families are closer with their extended family is because they are more dependent upon the financial support of their extended family. Because it is “widely known” that whites make a higher income than minority groups, white families tend to be more financially stable within their own direct families, that they are not dependent upon the support of others. Further throughout the article, Gerstel and Sarkisian actually prove that familial interactions within the direct family and also within extended family is more related to class than to cultural differences. Although there are obvious cultural differences within different races, “White, Black, and Latino/a individuals with the same amount of income and education have similar patterns of involvement with their extended families (4).” I don’t know if I necessarily agree with this statement, because throughout my experiences both coming from a middle class minority background and having friends whose families are also middle class however they are white, I find that minority groups and families are more likely to be dependent upon extended family not only because of financial support, but also emotional support, as that extended family of a minority group looks for people who can relate to their other obstacles that they have to face as a minority. I feel that it is almost more necessary and important for minority families to have a closer relationship with their extended family because they are most likely the only other group in which they can share similar experiences and social issues with. I do however agree that within married relationships, there is a certain disconnect that people experience with their extended family because now it is not only important to maintain a relationship with one’s direct relationship with their extended family, but also maintain and build a relationship with their spouse’s extended family.



Using Kin for Child Care: Embedment in the Socioeconomic Networks of Extended Families
Lynet Uttal

This article attempts to explain why African American and Mexican American mothers who are employed are more likely than Anglo American mothers to use childcare arrangements with relatives. There are three different explanations to explain why Black and Hispanic families depend more on the support of their extended kin for childcare, “the cultural explanation that states that these practices are the product of differing cultural preferences, the structural explanation that conceives of them as adaptive responses to structural constraints ( such as limited economic resources) and the integrative explanation that argues that they are due to the intersection of culturally-specific values and practices (race and culture), structural constraints (race and class), and the social organization of gender (care-giving is provided mainly by female relatives). Throughout the article, Lynet Uttal includes some of the conclusions that she gathers from her interviews. I thought that it was really interesting that White mothers were so reluctant to have their own mothers look after their children because they thought of it as an imposition upon their lives, and many did not agree with the way in which they treated childcare and Black and Latino/a families thought that although it was not ideal for their mothers to look after their children, it was an acceptable form of childcare that was treated as something that was supposed to happen. Minority women are also more likely to use extended kin to help take care of their children because it is more financially reasonable and supportive, it serves as an acceptable temporary substitute for a mother, and also it helps encourage and continue cultural practices that have shaped much of their lives as adults. I feel that not only would it be insulting to my mother who has raised me to not have time to help me raise my children, but also it would put a particular strain on their relationship as grandmother and grandchild. I think that by having extended family help raise another’s child is important to help maintain the cultural values that embodied and structured much of the way in which I view the world, and are the basis of the values that embody my life today.

The Female World of Cards and Holidays: Women, Families, and the Work of Kinship
Micaela di Leonardo

Women’s work in the family and in society has experienced significant changes in which di Leonardo wishes to examine. Micaela di Leonardo notes the change in women’s role in the household, as they have become more necessary to maintain relationships with the extended family. Tasks revolving around keeping in touch with extended family and organizing holiday celebrations are dependent upon the woman in the household. Women have now taken over another aspect of work, this is called kin work. Similarly to housework and child care, men are not active participants. Throughout my personal experiences, I feel that women are more family oriented than men are. As stated by the author, kin work is also solely based on gender, it is not influenced by race or social class, which allows sociologists to study all different groups of women. In my personal experiences, the women in my family are more family oriented than the men in my family in terms of planning and organizing family events. However the men in my family are very involved and are active participants in daily family activities. I don’t think that this is necessarily because the men in my family are more lazy than the women in my family or care less about getting the family together, but I just think that overall women do enjoy more sentimental events that include getting the family together than men do.

Explaining the Gender Gap in Help to Parents:
The Importance of Employment
Natalia Sarkisian and Naomi Gerstel

This article examines the gender gap of ones willingness as adults to spend time taking care of their parents. Daughters are more likely to spend more time helping their parents than sons, and Sarkisian and Gerstel attempt to explain why. In attempting to discover why females are more apt to help their elderly parents than males, Sarkisian and Gerstel study the structural differences in the types of jobs men have and the types of jobs women have. I thought that it was really interesting that another variable that contributed to the gender gap was race, and that African American women, employed or non- employed were more likely than European Americans to help their parents, and also that the level of education affected one’s likeliness to help their parents.

The Time Bind

Chapter 14
The Time Bind: Third Shift

This article attempts to show readers the impact that work has had on the everyday family life. Throughout this article Hochschild describes through the use of her one example, Amerco, how the value of private life and the family have decreased do to an increase in the value of work. Her reasoning for a greater emphasis on the work is because people generally feel more appreciated and valued at work than at the home, feeling that even at times work felt more like home and the home felt more like work due not only the fact that work was more interesting to them, but also to the emotional support they received there from their closest friends and the greater recognition that they received at work. Family and work instead of working together, has actually become competition, as Hochschild describes the shift amongst the four different types of families. Hochschild notes that the four different families include the “haven model”, the “traditional model”, the “no-job weak family” and the “work-family balance model,” and the “reversal model” that has recently become popular in working parents. Learning to manage the home and the workplace has through history and changing economic times become something that working parents have had to deal with. However in modern times, work has become a substitute for family time and time spent during the third shift- dealing with the emotions and problems at home. I thought that one of the most important points that Hochschild made throughout her article was that families have become dependent on other forms of entertainment to help them “get through” the emotional part of family life. Entertainment and watching television as a family has been used as a substitute for actually communicating and actually getting to try and emotionally connect with family members. Instead of having their own conversations and making their own jokes as a family, they are laughing and commenting on other’s conversations and jokes of tv families. In response to the “burdens” of the third shift, parents are also completing tasks and activities with their children more rapidly than actually spending time. Working parents depend more on scheduled time to spend time with their children and their spouse due to their busy work schedules and outside commitments that they have to their jobs. And instead of working on contributing to their best ability to their family, they are doing the least so as to save time for work. Another important fact that Hochschild brought up was that those who have the most authority and power in companies, who are mostly men are the only people who can actually launch a family- friendly environment in which the compromises and sacrifices that children have to make due to the amount of time dedicated to their parents’ work could be more balanced, however very few have interest in advocating this work environment, making it harder to bridge the gap between family and work.

Chapter 15
Many working families due to long working hours and heavy job commitments struggle to find the balance between having a gratifying work experience and having a gratifying family life. Hochschild calls this the time bind, in which parents find themselves compromising certain family values and family time for work. One way parents respond to their overwhelming demands of time as Hochschild describes is by leaving their children alone as their primary type of childcare. Many modern day families have decided that leaving their children alone trains them to become self- sufficient and independent, which although it does Hochschild also notes can be dangerous. Leaving one’s child at home can not only encourage more tv time for one’s children, but also exposes children to dangers such as alcohol, tobacco or marijuana, and may cause other problems later down the road such as fear of reoccurring nightmares, fear of noises, of the dark and personal safety. Another solution that Hochschild says that parents make is resorting to time-saving goods and services that speedup regular household tasks and allows parents, especially mothers to buy time. Substitutes for family time include summer camp, pre-ordered meals, and learning centers that allow for children to stay after hours. The concept of buying time so as to avoid actually spending time with your family or with your child to me just sounds irresponsible and selfish. I think that as a parent your primary priority should be taking care of your children, and although I think that outside childcare is acceptable amongst working parents, using childcare and time-saving services that allow parents to avoid spending time preparing dinner for their families is taking away from many of the things that allow families to develop their own values, traditions and quality time essential for building relationships. Hochschild also refers to the potential self and the actual self. Parents decide to separate the potential self from the actual self, so as to acknowledge all of the things they wish they could do if they had the time. It shows their families and especially their children that they have the desire to do and be a more pro- active parent and if they weren’t so consumed with their work, they would do these things and be that person. I think that although the potential self may be in a way making false promises to your family and children, it also shows your family that although you may not have the time right now, you have the desire to spend more time with them and you are constantly thinking about them and the type of person that you want to be for them. This time bind that Hochschild describes throughout her article is something very prevalent in modern times and although there may not be any one direct solution to solving the problem, parents are trying to figure out ways to readjust their time so as to better provide for their family in terms of quality time.

Maternal Employment and Time with Children: Dramatic Change or Surprising Continuity?
Suzanne M. Bianchi

The article Maternal Employment and Time with Children: Dramatic Change or Surprising Continuity by Suzanne Bianchi attempts to understand if the recent increase in the labor force participation of women has resulted in declining time investments in children. I think the most interesting comparison that Bianchi makes is the time spent of employed mothers and non employed mothers. The investigation done by Nock and Kingston reveals that although employed mothers on their longest working day spent less time with children than did non employed mothers and spent less direct “ quality” time with children, the time non employed mothers spent with their children was not devoted to childcare or direct play, but rather time cooking and doing household chores. “Non employed mothers spent more than twice as much time per day with their preschoolers, but the difference in time for direct childcare and play/ education was less than one hour.” Another important point that Bianchi makes is the actual amount of time that children spend at home and not in another form of childcare such as school. Children spend most of their time in an educational setting in which during that time parents are at work. So for long periods of time, and for several years, it would be hard for parents to actually spend time with their children, and then accounting the time that children actually desire to spend with their friends rather than with their family. As a child, I remember being taken care of by family members and especially by neighbors after school before I was at the age to get involved in extra curricular activities. However, during high school, I would stay after school and not get home until six in the evening. As I adjusted my time spent at home and at school, both of my parents also had to do that. They would postpone dinner until my sister and I got home so that we could still have dinner and spend time together. This is an important point that Bianchi makes in her account and in considering good mothering. Another thing that I found interesting was that while mothers on average have not reduced their time with children, married fathers have significantly increased the time they spend with their children.

The Career Mystique

“The Career Mystique is the expectation that employees will invest all their time, energy and commitment throughout their “prime” adult years in their jobs, with the promise of moving up in seniority or ascending job ladders” Based off of the feminine mystique that captures the life of the middle class woman, who lived off of the family wage, the career mystique mirrors this life because it shows the perspective of the man’ life according to the American Dream. Men have become centered around their work because they have had women to take care of the details of the family and the home. The article begins by talking about the lives of Lisa and David, who as an effect of the career mystique have suffered in their personal lives. I think that one interesting point made in the article “ The Career Mystique” is one of the five societal trends that us as the United States face in the ways in which we think about, organize and regulate careers and the life course. In the article, the recent shifts in marital and educational paths that challenge ideas about adulthood is noted. Many students are delaying going to work, and are actually continuing on their educational path, going to graduate school or professional school until they are thirty, remaining economically dependent upon their parents. In modern day America, all genders want to do it all, have a career, be caring parents and happy spouses, and this is all instilled in American institutions. However, the main focus of young people today, is to become successful and skillful in their careers and jobs; allowing institutions to encourage students to center their lives around their career. Success however is harder to come by for minority individuals, and especially with the feminine mystique still ingrained in our society’s heads, it is hard for the career mystique to encompass everyone, and allow for equal opportunity for all.

Overworked Individuals or Overworked Families
Jerry Jacobs, Kathleen Gerson

The article Overworked Individuals or Overworked Families begins with explaining to readers that the demands that an individual faces at work creates limits on the time that individuals can spend with their families. The difficulties in setting the boundary between time and work resides in the fact that “too much time at work can undermine personal and family welfare, whereas too little time can endanger a family’s economic security and lower its standard of living.” I think this is a great point that Jacobs and Gerson make, because I think that as children of working parents we also have to recognize the sacrifices that our parents make in order for us to have a good life. Many times my parents wish that they could stay at home and just relax with my sister and I, but they are not able to always make such sacrifices financially. As our primary providers, they are there to make sure that first and foremost our basic needs that require money are met.
The article begins by stating two theses, one stating that American families are spending too much time at work and another stating that there is an increase in leisure time amongst working parents. The overworked- American thesis however concludes that the increase in annual income is due to the number of weeks worked per year and the increased leisure thesis is due to younger people retiring and people staying in school longer. Jacobs and Gerson also focus working time of the individual versus the dual earner family. Though there is a small increase in the average working time of dual- earner couples as group there is also a number of couples whose joint hours are high. Those couples that have the most education, most prestigious jobs and occupations experience a growth in working time. Another important concern that Jacob and Gerson also brought to this article is the consequences that working time has on children, especially those belonging to single mothers whose sole income is the most depended source of money for the whole family.

Children’s Perspectives of Employed Mothers and Fathers: Closing the Gap Between Public Debates and Research Findings
Ellen Galinsky

Galinsky’s article, is a study that focuses on how employed parents affect a child’s development. Throughout her study, Galinsky tries to answer several debate questions concerning parents’ employment and child’s development such as, 1. Is having an employed mother good or bad for children? 2. Is it mothering or fathering? 3. Is child care good or bad for children? And 4. Is it Quality time or quantity time. By surveying a diverse sample of children, Galinsky draws many conclusions.
“A mother who works outside the home can have just as good a relationship with her children as a mother who does not work.” Upon asking this question, Galinsky received a range of answers, finally concluding that mothers and fathers both have a different view on the subject. The most profound difference that Galinsky received was that although there was no difference in dual- earner couples, there were large differences among fathers with employed spouses and those with a spouse at home. Because economics plays a major role and is a priority amongst most parents, a majority of parents, most of those who were both employed, felt that mothers should only work if they needed to help support their families financially. Among fathers, many believed that mothers should stay home regardless of their financial situation. What I found most interesting about this debate was Galinsky’s question of what other employed parents thought about moms who worked but could afford to stay home. I feel that work should be something enjoyable, and though one may live a comfortable life and be supported financially by their husbands, people should take part in something that they like. I think that it is important for all members of a family to contribute in some way or another and if a mother enjoys working and enjoys making money, then she should be allowed and supported in her choice to work. Galinsky also draws the relationship among parents who work and child behavior, such as their healthy development and success in school. He concludes that there is no difference between children with employed mothers and those with mothers at home. As I agree, what really matters is how children are mothered and whether mothers are warm and responsive and priorities in their lives. Another interesting point that Galinsky brought up was how studies and society fail to see the potential harm of a father’s employment to children. A father’s primary role is seen as being the economic provider, and the mother as the primary caretaker. However through her study, we come to recognize that the father actually plays a very important role in the child’s mental and motor development, such as receiving better scores on school tests or managing everyday social problems.
Galinsky finally debates that the only way for us to see changes in the way in which society views parenting is by changing the way we thing about things. We must be open to the fact that as society is changing, our style of parenting has to adopt in order for parents to have a good relationship with their children. What is most important is keeping a good family environment in which it doesn’t matter if both parents are working or not, the children can feel comfortable in confronting them about any issues that they may face. Another suggestion that Galinsky makes is including children’s perspectives in work- family literature. I think that in order for us to gain a true understanding of the way that work and the way that stress from work impacts parent-child relationship, is by actually surveying and asking the children who are most affected by these changes.

How to Succeed in Childhood
Judith Harris

Harris’s article How to Succeed in Childhood attempts to show how society has the largest impact on a child’s life. Throughout her article, Harris explains the differences between the parent- child relationship and the child- peer relationship to emphasize her thought on how children are more apt to relate and learn from other children rather than their own parents. Harris refers to Freud’s study on how children tend to mirror their parents of the same sex in order to prove how unhealthy and untrue it actually is in society. Harris believes that when a child imitates their parents in order to learn how to be grownups, they actually get themselves into more trouble because there are certain limitations on what children can do in comparison to what parents can do. She concludes with this thought with “a child’s goal is not to become an adult; a child’s goal is to be a successful child.” I tend to disagree with Harris on this point. I think that parents serve as an essential role model for children. Because children are so easily influenced, and they are so willing to learn, they do in fact imitate their parents at a young age because that is who they mostly are around. Yes, there are certain things that children cannot do because they are not adults, but their parents should be there to guide them into making responsible decisions as children that they will carry with them through adulthood. I do agree with her that children should strive to be successful as children, but I do think that their values and the lessons that they learn in the home from their parents are most important in making them successful as children. Harris also makes the point that the relationships that children make at home with their parents and siblings do not affect the relationships that they make outside the home with their peers. She makes the example of immigrant parents, where their children are born into a bicultural world, and live two separate worlds. Harris concludes that although their two worlds are separate, the outside world, which does not encompass their family’s culture, takes precedence, and the children are left compromising not blending their two worlds. Once again, I find myself disagreeing with Harris. Coming from a family in which both of my parents are immigrants, I feel that their culture is what stands out most in the way in which I choose my friendships, and also stands out in the different values that I have about most things. Because my family’s culture is so strong and the values of that culture have been embedded in me since I was a baby, I find it hard to leave them behind, and completely assimilate myself into a culture that I do not entirely identify with. Instead I have learned to blend my family’s beliefs and those of the outside world, taking what I learn at home and applying them to my everyday life, mostly relying on my values and beliefs that originated from my family’s culture. Harris’ main point was to show how society’s affect on children takes precedence over parental influences. Harris goes into describing how children learn to categorize and separate people into separate social groups in which they are most influenced by. Harris believes that socialization occurs mainly within a child’s play group, or a group of their peers, rather than their familial group. I do agree with her that children are influenced by their environment, the friends in which they socialize with and do gain a sense of community with their child groups but I also think that their primary social group will always be their family. A child can choose their friends according to what is socially acceptable according to their parents and the values of their families, and although they children do learn to identify with a certain peer group, their home training should guide them in the type of peer group in which they decide to socialize. Society and media do play a large role in the way in which children enter into the real world, but as children, parents play an important role in being good role models, that their children should emulate.

Children’s Share in Household Tasks
Frances K. Goldscheider and Linda Waite

Children’s Share in Household Tasks attempts to inform readers of the gender defined roles that exist in children’s household tasks. Children learn gender roles in the home at an early age by not only watching the differences in the type of housework that their mother and father do, but also in the type of housework that they are assigned. Goldscheider and Waite make an interesting point however in their survey that shows that many American families today have shied away from having their children complete housework because they would rather them be more successful in the workforce. Children are actually not getting much or any experience in working at home, as their mothers are completing most of it, and men have taken on more industrial jobs. However, Goldscheider and Waite also point that some parents do feel that their children should share some responsibility in the housework because it builds character, and helps them develop a sense of responsibility. Chores are used to prepare the child for household tasks that they will use later on in their adult lives, though they are mostly focused on the chores expected to be completed by daughters such as cooking, laundry and cleaning. Another interesting study that Goldsheider and Waite also show is the amount of sharing of housework completed by the children. In two parent households, it is dependent on the age of the children, and also specific tasks are directed toward certain genders. However in single parent, single mother households, sons are more likely to complete more housework than daughters because they are expected to take care of the work that would be completed by their absent father, and mothers are working longer hours for less money than what would be obtained from a combined income. I found this article very interesting, because as a child I was never expected to complete any other work except cleaning my own room and making my own bed. I actually wish that my parents would have given me chores and allowance so that I could learn how to complete these household tasks that are essential for adult living, and also so that I could learn better time management. I feel that learning how to cook, do laundry and even cut the grass are skills that because they are not taught at school, should be taught at home, so as to be able to better prepare for adult life.

Pricing the Priceless Child; From Useful to Useless and back to Useful
Vivian Zelizer

Vivian Zelizer’s Pricing the Priceless Child makes some interesting points regarding the changing roles of children in the household. She notes the change from the worker to the sacred and innocent child to the child that had to work. What she struggles with however is the loss of the sentimental aspect to the child if they are paid for their work. What is a child’s work worth; how much do we value our children and their work? She explains the complex interaction between the child and the market in describing the switch from the exploitation of the child for their work to the sentimental, sacred child. Another important fact that Zelizer makes is the difference of the private and public love for children. In today’s American society we tend to practice private love for our own individual child, rather than reaching out and extending our love publicly to other people’s children. Parents reach out to their own children in fear that they will leave the home, thus through buying them incredible material items and denying the responsibility factor, programs are not supported to help other children. One other point that Zelizer makes is the change from the “Age of Protection” to the “Age of Preparation”. Parents are beginning to rush children into adult behavior after their innocence has disappeared. Thus she questions the meaning of a real childhood, and is nostalgic toward returning to a childlike childhood so as to preserve the innocence of children while still giving them a sense of responsibility by encouraging them to work. I agree with this statement and do think that children should be taught to work, and taught to learn skills that require them to be responsible. This work ethic should be carried with them throughout adulthood, and if managed correctly should also allow them to still be children and participate in regular childlike activities.